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In the deepest darkness, is visible the tiniest light – The Light of the Soul
12 days of Dark Room Therapy has definitely been the most amazing experience of my life.
It has shown me a reason to be better.
It has shown me a reason not to drink alcohol, not to eat meat anymore, to walk barefoot, etc.
It has initiated a positive domino effect that has redirected my life in a much better direction..
The first time I heard about Dark Room Therapy was from my brother, Peter.
Before, if I had recommended a book, I could be sure that he wouldn’t read it, even if it were the last book on the planet.
After Dark Room Therapy he told me something like:
“Before I used to think that you wanted to dictate to and patronise me, but in that dark room I realised that you had been trying to help me.”
What made him realise that after 40 years!?! 🤔
When I contacted Dark Room Therapy, the first free period was in May. It was a dark February and I couldn’t wait for the sun. I didn’t want to miss the sun! When is there the least sun? In December.
Around the winter solstice, the Body and Mind are closer together – condensed. (A big difference from the opened – expanded summer state.)
So, I choose to visit the Dark Room at the darkest time of the year…
The whole process leads me to a guru Juraj (George).
According to his advice, one month before the start, I stopped drinking alcohol and the week before I stopped eating meat.
When I arrived I saw a small separate house. When I came I had a chance firstly to see everything under the light.
It was an ‘organic house’ where the core of the wall was made from straw & mud.
It had one room with a simple but very comfortable bed and had enough space to move, stretch and expand… There were a small drum and a few other musical instruments (not for me). Juraj brought me a fit ball later. I brought a foam roller, a goodvibes massage tool, and a coloured card to feel the different quality of colour just by hand (haven’t used it, same as plasticine).. Juraj recommends not bringing too many gadgets and tools which could attract and distract your attention. The aim is to retract from the material world as much as you can.
The entire space was totally dark and very well isolated.
There was also a shower. Juraj recommends a cold shower (5°C). He said that a cold shower is the best medicine for stress, depression and other negative emotions. He said, that once he had even prevented his friend from committing suicide by recommending her a cold shower!
There were a sink and a toilet.
Modest but cute, nice with good vibes.
Juraj delivers food. He makes great salads & smoothies. There was a bowl of fruit and veggies; I had brought some almonds. There was a big tank of water from a special spring, but I preferred the running water directly from the tap or shower.
Juraj brings you food and sees you as often as you want. In the beginning, I saw him once a day but in the end only every 3 days. He came randomly, so I couldn’t track the time…
In the beginning, I slept quite a lot – Good quality sleep…
More realistic dreams.
Before I went to sleep, I saw visuals, which were much stronger and deeper than I have normally.
It was interesting that my dreams did not end when I woke up! They continued for a few minutes. I could partly control them. When I went back to sleep, they usually continued… The dreams were much more realistic and detailed with interesting plots.
The first two to three days were bad.
Juraj recommended not training too much and not thinking too much. (The reason for all the process is also to free oneself from the material world.) So I didn’t know what to do…
I felt such strong apathy and lethargy that it was painful!
I was just lying down in any ridiculous positions. ‘Without my mind…’ If saliva was rising in my mouth, I would probably let it dribble out, without stopping it…
Fortunately, a cold shower helped me to cope with the pain of this apathy. It visited me sometimes on later days, but it wasn’t so strong anymore, or I had become used to it.
Our minds are usually distracted by visual, auditory and other sensory impulses. In quiet surroundings and in complete darkness, we have sensory deprivation.
Visualise the mind like a jar of muddy water, where impulses are shaking it.
If you stop giving in to the mental impulses, the grounds settle on the bottom…
And the mind becomes crystal clear!
It’s sharper; quicker; with better memory and more creative.
With this pure mind, I’ve seen all my life differently…
It also has another important effect:
The crystal clear mind is much more enlightened by the Soul…
In this part, I would rather quote from an article on Amaya’s website…
‘’ Pinolene is said to be released by the pineal gland also and is responsible for what we call “the light show”. In complete darkness, you may be able to see light patterns forming. ‘’
‘If we look deeper at the pineal gland and its response to the dark for more extended periods we are introduced to a psychedelic substance called Dimethyltriptamine, or DMT. This substance is naturally occurring within the brain, also produced by the pineal gland, and is typically only released at birth and at death. It has been nicknamed “the spirit molecule” because of the states of altered consciousness it provides and how it translates into feelings of universal compassion. This is a state where we can deeply work on healing ourselves from past traumas. ‘’
‘’To take an even deeper view on DMT we can look at the Shipibo tribe of the Amazon and how they ingest the substance in plant form, Ayahuasca. ‘’
Before or after my sleeping hours I had a kind of internal cinema. I just closed my eyes (many times even with them open) and I saw different flying patterns, kind of fractals..
Sometimes death, fights, wars with endless armies… It was realistic and deep, but not dangerous for me.
And other times it was peaceful with the energy of Love.
Then I also had a different kind of visualisation.
Sometimes, when I quickly stood up, I felt a bit dizzy – my blood pressure was a little low.
After a few days of being in the Dark Room, something like that happens, and it becomes stronger and stronger… Firstly it was just for a second – two, then 5 – 10 seconds.
Then it happened also when I properly expanded and stretched with pleasure.
I found myself in rooms made from really tiny neon lights.
Firstly green, quite similar to Matrix.
After two days the visualization was white light. Still stronger and longer.
I moved my arms in front of me through the pattern, but it didn’t change.
Around the 7th day, my hands started to affect the hallucinations and wave them.
Later I could affect it just with my mind.
On the 9th day, I saw my hand as if in sunny daylight!
I straightened my arm and walked into…
A different dimension.
Unbelievable Synergy Power!
Hard to describe..
The power makes a sound a bit similar to being under a high voltage post.
I was shocked!
And jumped back..
I found my body shaking as an epileptic seizure came over me. When I come back, my body slowly relaxed..
Fortunately, I used to drop down when hallucinations like this came.
Now I know what I have suspected all my life:
I am not this body!
Souls are somehow separated from Oneness. However, at the same time, they are merged into inseparable Oneness.
Both are true, despite it seems to be the opposite.
As a Soul, I could see how my mind works. It’s just artificial intelligence – AI. Robot. My personal ‘Alexa’…
Ego is a fake me created by the Mind.
The mind is not the source of awareness and consciousness.
It’s the Light of the Soul which sparks Life into me. The mind doesn’t work without this Light, without the real me. I enlighten the Mind.
All creativity comes from my Soul.
The Soul is just riding the Mind as a jockey rides a horse.
In the dark, I could feel much more clearly what I am.
It was interesting to be observing my ego, how it pretends that it’s me!
How it’s a lie, creating excuses.
I could see through all my ego games, how it tried to keep control of the Soul.
How ego suppressed me and held me into the Soul into the deepest dungeon.
In the Dark Room, the Soul is much stronger than normal.
The Ego is still powerful but visible.
However, the Ego already knows that it’s not me.
When the Ego realizes that it is just a tool for the Soul, it starts to think differently. It slowly but not gladly starts helping..
In the beginning, the Ego wants to take as much power from the Soul as possible.
The dominant Ego is egoistic and individualistic.
We can feel kindness and altruism when the Soul prevails…
The Ego uses matter to suppress the Soul.
The Ego is supported by hedonism and sensory pleasure.
One of the most hedonistic pleasures is the pleasure of eating.
After food, the Soul is weak and sleepy.
I realised there that I was eating around 10 – 20 times more than I really need!
Most of the food I eat is just for pleasure!
It’s good to ask before eating a piece of food:
‘Am I really hungry? Or I am going to eat just for pleasure?
My ego found a nice name for my hedonism. I used to call myself ‘a gourmet’.
I realised, that the most suppresses my Soul meat! It causes pain to my Soul, it is crying when I eat meat…
On one of my natural DMT trips, I realised how my Ego had excused my eating meat since I remember (6-7 years).. It used to be said that: “it’s normal because everybody does it, look at parents, friends…’; ‘I am a predator..’; ‘My brain needs meat’, ‘That it’s just a circle of life..’, etc.
I thought that I was eating meat because I was strong.
In the Dark Room, I realised that I eat meat because I am weak.
Weak to resist a bloody hedonistic pleasure.
Does the Soul want to eat meat?
Souls are connected to Oneness.
Souls feel the pain of all Souls.
When I realised that, I felt all the pain which I’ve caused to all the animals which had to die for me!
I just sat down and wept..!
Meat supports the aggression and primitive animality in us. It makes the Soul weaker.
In the past, before I started to feel the Soul, I could eat meat, because it didn’t cause me pain, it caused the pain to something else, such as to a lamb.
However, as a Soul, I could feel the pain of all merged Souls. Especially that pain, which was caused by my decision to eat meat.
Eating lamb pained the Soul as eating my hand would hurt my body.
I cannot eat meat anymore and hurt myself – Oneness.
The Soul enlightens a clear mind.
Alcohol clouded my mind. It’s like pouring pure ink into a glass of water.
The Soul finds it much harder to manifest itself in a drunk mind. Therefore drunk people are often more aggressive. Sometimes the Mind without a Soul even kills somebody! It would hardly happen if the Soul controls the Mind.
On the other hand, a reasonable amount of alcohol could also open the heart…
In the Dark Room, I made the decision not to drink alcohol, to help my Soul lead my steps.
I realised how I missed the attention of others… How I wanted to tell somebody what I had found, what I had realised… How I would like to know others’ opinions on my thoughts.., etc.
Having somebody’s attention feeds the Ego, but much more powerful is to have the power over others’ time, their attention! For the Ego, it is a very good massage to command somebody else. Power over others is one of the main reasons to fight and conduct a war.
There’s nothing wrong with attention; Love is also a form of attention.
To steal attention from others is not pleasant. Rather let others spontaneously give us their attention and love
Special attention is on sex.
Sex is one of the most hedonistic pleasures which our Ego can get.
Sex can also be the way we can merge with others…
The Ego analyses past times and tries to plan, to prepare for the future…
Fear is a product of the Ego.
The Soul is fearless.
The biggest fear we have is about our life.
The Soul is not scared of Death, because it knows that it’s endless.
Fear about life can be switched to aggression. We can observe it in simple street fights, or in economic wars with our competitors.
There are more aspects that create fear.
The first fear is being without air. After a few seconds of holding our breath, fear usually rises… It’s easy to panic!
Therefore, it is important to become familiar with this fear and train to hold your breath without fear and stress.
Then there is a fear of being without water. Walking everywhere with a plastic bottle and sipping water every few minutes makes us weak in this aspect. Dry fasting makes us stronger. Try to be without water gradually, for a few hours, then a few days..
When Corona-panic caused a run on the shops, I felt very clearly my fear: what if I would be without food?!
I could die!
I need proper storage to survive!
Maybe some weapons to protect my food – my life!
Then, after 7 days of fasting, I realised how scared I had been to be just a few days without food!
The Fight for resources is one of the main reasons to fight, to destroy ourselves in wars…
What if we realised that there are enough resources for all of us..?!
Fear of dark, fear that I may lose sight.
Fear that I may lose mobility, health, youth…
Fear of loneliness, being without Love and attention from others, fear of being without sex…
Fear of pain, cold, heat
In the beginning, we are afraid of missing any hedonistic pleasure.
To be free of these fears is good for training to be without air, water, food, attention, sex etc.
The aspect of two forces: Condense and Expand have a crucial role in this game.
Condense – close our vision, mind, body, it suppresses the Soul.
As a gravitational force, it pulls our body matter down.
It’s a force of stress, fear. The force which clings us to matter.
Expand is the quality of the Soul.
The soul is Expanding to merge with others.
The soul manifests itself as an inner Fire quality that lifts us up from the swamp of matter.
Chinese Chi Kung has this power called Yang.
And condense feminine power is Yin.
Today these powers are not balanced.
We are closed, condensed, individualised and full of stress.
I meditate to expand.
My main meditation was:
Leave the Head to be in the Heart.
I learned this Slavic-Vedic meditation from my Cossack master.
I didn’t track time, but I knew that one day was roughly one big sleep and one power nap.
Usually, time ran quite slowly. However, sometimes I had the feeling that I could choose the relative speed of time.
Most of the time I spent in the present. Not thinking – just feeling, playing, flowing…
When I came out, I was much more respectful and stronger than ever before.
So far, nothing has changed me as this experience did.
The Ego is still strong but I can see how it works, I can recognise its tricks.
I’m still strong to be free of hedonistic pleasures. I started much more and also regularly fasted. In January I had my first whole day without food. Now I have a monthly week without food. I am also stretching dry fasting – being without liquid.
I see how fear of hunger and thirst is leaving me.
After dark, I become much more sensitive about vital energy… I feel how rubber soles isolate me from Mother Earth. I feel how vital electromagnetic energy (Zhiva, Chi, Ki, Prana) doesn’t flow through shoes. Therefore, I walk barefoot connected with Nature as much as possible…
I hope that my experience has inspired you and will help you to free yourself – to free your Soul.
Juraj’s Dark Room
Leonardo da Vinci in the Dark Room